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The Top 5 Male Turnoffs in Dating

While it’s important to know how to light a man’s fire, it’s equally important to understand what douses his dating flames.
by eHarmony Staff

In our quest to find, attract, and keep our perfect partner, we often wonder what turns men on.  And while it’s important to know how to light a man’s fire, it’s equally important to understand what douses his dating flames.  By being clear about what kind of behavior turns men off, we can be better prepared to keep the spark alive from our first encounter to happily ever after.  What follows are the top five male turnoffs.

Turnoff #1: Flakiness - You can't commit to meet on a date and you expect him to commit for life?
Guys report that one of the biggest turnoffs when dating a woman is when she either can’t commit to plans or constantly flakes on plans.  If you regularly pencil in your plans with a “maybe�  and/or cancel plans at the last minute, you’re giving your guy the impression that he’s tentative in your life, aka “good enough for now.�   Who wants to date someone who makes them feel temporary?  Chances are you don’t, and you shouldn’t be the girl who makes her date feel that way either.

Turnoff #2: Poor communication skills - Not saying what is on your mind.
Raise your hand if you’ve been this girl in your relationship past: your date/boyfriend said or did something you didn’t like, but instead of saying anything, you went along with it.  You may have even said it was “fine.�   But then at some point down the road, you got upset.  Maybe you even blew up at an inappropriate time, causing an argument that completely took your significant other off guard.  Most of us have been guilty of passive aggressive behavior at least once in our dating past.  It happens.  But when you repeat that kind of behavior over and over in any dating/relationship scenario, the only thing you’ll succeed at is sabotaging your efforts.  Just as you deserve to be with someone who’s comfortable communicating his wants, needs, and desires, you, too, should be a healthy communicator.  Don’t say one thing if you really mean another.  Instead, get in the habit of saying what you mean.  Guys appreciate that!

Turnoff #3: Not playing fair - Always expecting to be treated like a princess without treating him as a prince.
From your initial encounter to your first date and beyond, guys pay attention to whether or not you’re playing fair.  If, for example, you always expect the guy to come to your side of town, pick you up, open your door, pay the check, drop you off, call you the next day, and in general placate your every need without you so much as lifting a finger, you’re not dating fairly.  More important, if there’s a disagreement and you don’t fight fairly, i.e., you throw things in his face, hold grudges, and insist on winning every argument, you’re going to be a very lonely single girl because you’re not being fair.  In the new millennium, chivalry goes both ways and the dating game requires plenty of give-and-take.  If you can be fair in dating times both good and bad, guys will dig you so much more!

Turnoff #4: Trying to change him - True change comes from within and not from others.
It’s almost cliché how often in the media we see, hear, or read about a woman who tries to change her man.  Whether it’s changing how he dresses, what he watches on TV, his manners, or his friends, the woman at the helm of all this change always comes off as a control freak.  Don’t be that girl.  Just as the guy in your life should accept you warts and all, you, too, should accept him for who he is.  And if you can’t?  Don’t date him.  It’s as simple as that.  The whole point of being single and dating is to meet a variety of different people, find out who you are as well as who your perfect partner might be, and eventually settle down with someone who’s right for you.  Rather than trying to change the wrong guy into Mr. Right, why not keep playing the field until you meet that special someone who’s far from perfect but whose imperfections you have no desire to change?  (He’s out there — keep looking!)

Turnoff #5: Ultimatums - We should be married within the next year or else...
Nothing turns a man off more than a woman who gives him an ultimatum.  Not only are they not sexy, they’re ineffective.  Healthy and happy relationships don’t need ultimatums.  When you’re regularly communicating your needs to the person you’re in a relationship with, ultimatums are unnecessary.  It’s when communication breaks down, when one person feels his or her needs aren’t being met, or when the relationship isn’t going in the direction one had hoped or at the speed one had anticipated, that ultimatums are usually issued.  A huge turn-off, ultimatums are a tricky relationship tactic and should be avoided at all costs.

Source: http://advice.eharmony.com/article/the- … z0pI7hqCdv

Last edited by anino (2010-05-29 00:24:14)

ahmmm i almost forgot nice post anino....... thats why it needs to be mutual.... most of us dont play fair... but i dont generalize...

ako naman...

ayoko sa:

**mayabang
**egoistic
**demanding
**ungentleman
**sinungaling
**mabisyo
**untidy
**BASTOS
**unfaithful
**hindi God fearing

ympact93 wrote:

ako ung pabago-bago ng isip

ung kahapon yes tapos ngaun no tapos bukas yes ulit.

diba nakakainis un???!!!

bro. ympact93 natawa naman ako.. parang ako ata yan...hahahhaha sori naman... sa yes at no na answer ko last week....peace bro.

para kay sis LIB: hehehe ok lang un basta within the day. pag ndi pa ready to go. pero kung ready to go na dapat yes na lang lagi diba??? hehehe!!!

and understandable naman un kasi may valid reason un

ang big turn off sa akin.. pag sinira yung trust ko. ayun.. period

super turn off sakin nagyoyosi..kahit gaano ko ka crush o ka like yung guy once na nalaman kong nagyoyosi..naglalaho na feelings ko..hahaha!

hmmm pa join din. here's mine:

turn offs:
untidy walang paki sa hygiene
dirty nails
bad breath
walang manners lalo na pag kumakain may tunog pag ngumuya
nag aaya ng date pero kulang naman pera yaiikss!!
mayabang, maangas akala mo kung sinong gwapo in short "feelingero"
masyadong mabilis feeling mo gf ka na pag sumama ka sa kanya
feeling close kayo kahit kakakilala mo pa lang
maniac puro sex ang nasa isip or gusto maging topic  big time TO talaga!
mahilig mag yosi
tactless guys and mr know it all
too good to be true, puro salita wala naman ginagawa
ungentleman

Txt Speak sa Internet.
Lalo na yung mag-jejemon. >.<

ako ang turn off sa kin...lahat ng nakaka turn off sa inyo...hnd ko na isa isahin...sinabi nyo na eh....heheheh

Mga nakakaurn-off:

1) who is not true to himself
2) iba ang sinasabi sa ginawa
3) liar
4) two timer
5) smoker
6) pafall sa mga girls na wala nmn palang balak
7) walang prinsipyo sa buhay

ympact93 wrote:

sis lei1000 dapat dito specific hehehe!!!

oh sha cge na nga since inadd mo ko sa facebook ko magiging specific na ko hehehe...ang sobrang nakakaturn off sa kin...

di malinis sa katawan at walang manners...bro ympact thanks sa pag add ha